How to humiliate your dog

Message from Roscoe: "This is all the clothing a dog should ever wear."

I bought another shirt for my dog today.

"Santa's little helper is not happy."

It was so stinkin' cute and only $3 at Target, so I gave in and bought it.

Dressing the dog up is the kind of thing that normally would annoy someone like me. In theory, it does. I mean, it's completely stupid.

But seriously, how cute is that?

"Come any closer, and you're going to look like the chewed part of this bone."

This is a guilty pleasure. And dang it, I should feel guilty: Is it completely ridiculous? Yes. Is is something you could only find in a wealthy and consumeristic society such as ours? Of course. Is it completely foolish to spend money to clothe a creature covered with fur, especially when said clothing will only serve to render said creature miserable -- or at least not thrilled?

Absolutely.

It's all true. And I might be a little embarrassed that I bought my dog a Halloween costume ... or rather, three Halloween costumes, a Santa hat, and an elf shirt.

But not embarrassed enough to hold back from showing you this:

"I will now karate-chop my way out of this ridiculous ensemble."

The problem is that all this (very sound) logic goes out the window when I see that adorable little outfit in the store and picture this:

"Why do you hate me?"

On the other hand, this is what it usually becomes:

"I will END you!"

Yet I can't seem to stop myself.

"There are dogs starving in Africa, and I'm wearing a Santa hat."

"Merry Christmas. Please save me."

At least I'm not the only one: http://www.flickr.com/groups/dogswearingclothes/

"If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater ... suggest that he wear a tail."  ~ Fran Lebowitz